Gone

I just got back from hanging out with my brother and his/ my friend Bani Aiman where we spent the whole day roaming Kuala Lumpur. We had evening tea at DOME and talked about our latest happenings. I enjoyed hanging with my brother and his friends. Every time I followed with him, I learned something new about the social life. I noticed that my brother likes to hang out often with his old school mate friends on semester breaks. I find it interesting that the group is still well connected even after a few years finished high school. Their bond is still strong, its like they've never been separated.

I reflected the situation on myself and knew that I am not like them. I've less contact with my fellow friends as soon as I left school. I'm not as close to them now as I was before we graduated. So I've decided to get in touch with every single one of my friends while I still can. I've started texting and calling them. Keeping the dying relationship alive. I don't want such a beautiful relationship to end. Because if not, after a while we could go be back to square one, trying to get to know each other back. All over again.

Before this, it's not that I forgot about them that I had not called. It's because I always feel that they are close to me, so I don't feel miss.

-A quote I heard from a senior student here:
"What makes someone dead? It's when they are forgotten"


"All I've wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth"

Kau buat aku hilang mood.

Kalau kau cakap, kau nak aku dengar. Tapi bila aku aku cakap, kau dok main-main, kau tak nak dengar. Aku rasa nak sepak(kick) je muka kau. Aku tak suka betul orang yang tak nak dengar bila aku cakap. Satu lagi benda yang aku tak suka bila orang tinggikan suara kat aku. Nasib baik kau jenis tak tinggi suara. Kalau tak, memang aku dah tumbuk muka kau free-free je.

Aku mintak benda simple aje. Aku nak kau tutup je mulut and dengar aku explain. Ni tak. Kejap-kejap menyampuk, kejap-kejap komen, gelak-gelak, message. 7 Kali pulak tu kau menyampuk...
Memang tak reti bahasa lah tu.

"but we won't let it go for nothing"

You Like Everything

Sometimes I come across someone or something that I dont like. sometimes it automatically crosses my mind to think bad things about them. Trying to escape from the bad habit of pessimism, I got the idea of a solution that worked pretty well on me. I don't know what its called but it goes like this...

Whenever I come across the things that I don't like, I will say to myself, "I like it" (not words actually coming out of my mouth). And then start to think what I like about him/ it (the situation that I hate). It does help me from not cursing him on the inside and helped me to approach him or the situation better. This way of thinking also taught me to be more thankful by appreciating more of what I had and not to feel arrogant.

 

"I like that"

There are two kinds of pain.

Well I think there is. Im not a doctor obviously but the 2 kinds of pain are physical pain, and mental pain. To start, I was feeling ill and my stomach really hurts. I thought that it could be gastric because I've had it before. The next morning my brother and my mom took me to clinic where I got my medications. Even after I took them medications, I still feel rather unwell.

I was supposed to go with my friend Rafieque to Wangsa Walk where he supposed to meet his girlfriend. I rethink about it and said maybe I shouldn't go. My brother told me to let them date alone. My brother then ask me to go to The Shout Awards with him and his friends because many of his friends had cancelled. Plus if I had gone with him, he might get the car from my mom.

At the shout Awards with all its shouting and happening, I lost my stomach ache. (or maybe the medicines work, idk). Then I got back home.
THE NEXT MORNING... Rafieque wrote this on my wall...

 

Then I replied with this..

Its pain enough that I have stomach ache + newly added 'pinggang' ache after I got back from 6+ Hours of standing at the awards, the after I got back I see that my friend is mad at me for this. But I don't blame him.
Because I had thoughts that I might enjoy the shout awards a wee bit more than If I had accompanied him for his date. Sorry Rafieque.

"I said I don't want to walk this earth
If I gotta do it solo"

Slow In, Fast Out

I can't drive. Not now.
I already have a license but I don't drive a lot. My driving skill sucks. I only drive to the shop. Rarely I pick up my sister from school. Just mow I got the car scratched by a bundle of broken branches at the side of the road. The scratch made a screeching noise. Don't tell my dad, but I think the scratch starts from the front door all the way to the back of the car.

Maybe because I didn't bought the car with my own money that I drive it without care. This is not the first time I drove the car carelessly. I drove fast on the bumper. Drove on the sidewalk while I took the parking ticket at Jusco. Almost hit a car twice in a single drive and many others. You get the idea. Maybe this is because I played a lot of racing video games.

I Ask, I Listen

We can learn a lot from normal conversations. Especially when you're around people who are hanging out. Tonight I learned yet another side of life that I had never thought would be real and around me. I learned it while listening to conversations. I learned that there are some things I cannot ask, won't ask, or should not ask but can only learn about it if I listen, and listen well.

Someone told me that I should question myself about what I heard and give myself the answer. That way, I can be more matured in understanding the world.

"Tell me what you want to hear
Something that delight those ears"

Hanging Out

This place is always packed. Every night. I don't see if the food is so special here. They all didn't come here to eat anyway. They came, they drink, they smoke, and they laugh. Its the place where the cool people hangout. That's why they came here. Many pretend to blend in and look cool while looking around for hot chicks. Bad luck, most hot chicks are escorted by hot guys. This place is a real phenomena. One of many places that share this recognition amongst the people in society. I think some have been blinded by the illusion of social life and the high social statused.

The 'they' that I'm referring to is not everyone. Just a group of people. But I have seen many other people with many other reasons of coming.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Ohh myy gosh"

Bajet Disember

Hmm.. Macam mana nak settlekan ni?
Baki duit yang still boleh dibelanjakan ada tinggal RM210 lagi. Duit celah tabung ada lebih kurang RM40. Duit keseluruhan RM250 ni nak kena agihkan untuk  perbelanjaan 35 hari. Selalunya aku tak guna banyak duit pun kecuali kalau kawan-kawan ajak keluar. Selalunya duit guna untuk makan je.

Pelan untuk Disember ni termasuk nak beli present untuk mama dengan adik, present untuk cousin, birthday party, also untuk KL Malakoff running.

Present mama & adik= +RM60(??)
Present for cousin= RM30(??)
Birthday party= RM25
KL Malakoff= pulang duit member RM25
Makan sehari= RM9(x35)= RM315
                                                               
TOTAL= 60+30+25+25+315= RM455
RM(455-250)= RM205

-mana nak carik lagi RM200 ??

Aku baru plan untuk tak mintak duit parents aku lagi lepas dapat sponsor dari MARA. So, kalau mintak duit kat parents tu dah out of question.

Hmmm... Memang tak potong rambut la sampai tahun depan. Ingatkan nak potong kasi kemas sikit. Dah tebal dah ni.

"Landed in a very common crisis"

Smackdown

Lama tak main wrestling. Dulu masa kecik-kecik selalu main wrestling dengan cousin-cousin tak kira lah kalau diorang datang rumah ke, atau kat hotel... Asalkan ada katil, memang ada yang kena campak. Selalunya kalau ada sorang yang dah sakit, baru berhenti. Selalunya lepas kepala terhantuk kat dinding pastu menangis. Memang seronok gila!

Ni semua pasal pendedahan awal tengok cerita Smackdown dengan game Playstation Smackdown vs Raw. Aku teringat balik keseronokan time wrestling ni pasal sepupu-sepupu second intake yang kecik-kecik ni tengah lepak bilik aku main wrestling sambil terajang-terajang kat atas katil aku.

"Now my feet won't touch the ground"

Coffee Pasta

I like it that I copy my brother. He has really good qualities that I chose to follow, like the way he talks, the way he gets to know people, and the way he dress. He's a really good role model in that section. But sometimes, people tend to look at that as a bad thing. The way they ask ( with the look on their face ) made it look like I'm a copy paste so I changed some part of myself to show my individuality. I like my brother and I want some part of myself to be just like him.

"I got my own Step"

Deutsch als Fremdsprache

Deutsch als Fremdsprache directly translates to Deutsch as foreign language. As a student of German A-Level Preparatory Programme, I got the oppertunity to study for German Language course. Im interested in foreign language. Learning it, understanding it, and speaking it. I only know 2 languages right now and still learning one more. I would like to learn maybe about 3 or 4 more. Maybe Arabic, Spanish and other languages.

 "Its not always rainbows and butterflies"

Lets Dance

Turn on the music! because I love a good music. The louder it is, the better. But music only wouldn't be enough. My body likes to move to the beat. I like Techno and electronic beat. Turn the Bass up to the max, I would surely follow with. but I cant dance (yet). Im still learning. dancing puts a smile on my face. The feeling of every part of the body moving out of control but still in control (??). So get up and dance.


"my body rocks a rhythm
you beat my drum hard
I might just kick it kick it
you wanna lick it lick it"

Fell for Love

I see happy faces everytime my friends talk to their loved ones. They seem so happy and I also feel happy for them, but every once in a while the things I see reflect back to myself. Will I ever achieve that kind of happiness? That kind of feeling? I honestly don't know. But I usually try my best to get over it. Sometimes I just let myself fell for it even if the reality is I'm falling in without Love.

 

"Dann wird alles gut"

Best Wishes

A shoe box present containing something of great value to me. It contains my memoirs of past events.