A big oppertunity, A heavy burden.

Every year, when the A-levels result was out, all the seniors and juniors are told to gather in the hall to experience the intense moment. As a junior, I imagine myself putting on my seniors shoe. I can feel his tension, and I think I felt his worry. I was him for the moment.

When it was announced that about 20 people didn't manage to score the minimum requirements, while 30 some did, the tension in the room rises. People are starting to get anxious. We were told from the very beginning that the German A-levels is a very tough programme. The juniors only hoped for the best.

To know that your family is waiting at home for a phone call from you makes you feel very responsible. If you succeeded, they would surely be happy. If not, wouldn't they have their hearts broken? doing something responsible like being a student puts a lot of burden on your shoulders. People around you have high hopes of you being able to succeed. Your parents and friends might already told their friends that you are going to fly to Germany. not knowing that it is't true for sure.

Being a student really makes you put your own hopes aside, and put others hopes in front. If I cant do it for myself, I need to do it for others. Its not about me now, its about them.

"Birds came flying from the underground,
If you could see it then you'd understand"

You might like it later.

I dont like korean dramas, I dont like korean food, I dont like korean language, and I dont like korean music.
4 years back, some of my female friends are really into this 'korean' entertainment. thats all they ever talked about with their friends. "Whats the new movie? Have you watched this show yet? Have you heard this song yet? Wow hes so cute.. blax3" Damn. I hated it. I hated it so much, I made fun of these people. (sorry)

2 years back, the guys are starting to get into the female korean pop (abbreviated as k-pop) group. "I like this one, I choose this, She's so beautiful, Play it again, I want to see them dance.. blax3" wtf? (sorry) they all looked the same to me. I cant differentiate any one of them.

This year my roomate which is a big korean fan showed his friends some k-pop videos. -As usual, I didnt care much. A few days later i got bored doing homework and went to his room. I asked what he was watcing. Its a show called Invincible Youth. So, I watched it with him.


-nampaknya Tuhan telah membuka pintu hati saya untuk menerima serba-serbi dunia entertainment korea ini.

After the first show, I got hooked.
a month passed, and now I had 20 korean albums already :O that was really unexpected.

"Ireoda michyeo naega
yeoriyeori chakhadeon Geureon naega
neottaemune dora naega
dokhan naro byeonhae naega"

Dont think too much yet still do nothing.

For most things, you have to question. questioning is good. you  can  learn a lot about the purpose that it was there. If it is a bad thing, you can stop yourself halfway from doing it. Either way, it benefits you.

I dont think you have to ponder about everything though, because sometimes, it is better for you to just do it. don't question about it, and don't think about it.

If it's a good thing and you know it. And if you need to get it done quick or on a deadline, don't stop and think about why you're doing it. because the devil may change your mind, and deviate you into doing other things.

After you have done it, then you can take time to understand about what you are doing, because you don't have the luxury of time on your side.

When I'm in my holidays, the assignments that i could've finished in 1 day in my college, it took me 1 week to finish when I'm at home. I can't do it all on time because I always think a lot, and whenever I think too much about my studyplan in my holidays, I always end up doing something else. Then, my assignments suffer.. none of them were finished. But if I don't think too much about my plan, I would've finished everything as planned.

"You have to set up.
Bring it on!
Forward! "

Do as I say, not as I do.

Iv had enough of this. First I thought u are just showing me the other side of the world, but you are actually showing me YOUR world. You told me to get to know about this, and not to try this.. Yet you are doing this right in front of me. I thought you could me my role model. But no. Looks like youre not gonna be anymore. Now, im taking in whats good that you have taught me, get to know about the bad stuff and not to follow it.

So, I will get to my own world now after this.. Leave you to yours until you realise your own advice that youve given me.

Thanks my brother. For the exposure you've given me. Thank you for the lesson. Ill find my own way.

 "I stood by you
I didn't have to
And if I knew
I'd go away"

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